Ma and I have made a life of " catching lightening in a bottle " so to speak. Quite a few " once in a lifetime " events have happened to us repeatedly. Many good. A few bad.
Things that are said to have been against all odds, things people say are impossible, things that seem to defy explanation - we've walked through and come out smiling, holding each others hand in hand.
We started with literally NOTHING when we first started dating in HS. Now, you may be envisioning a kid who has their parents help when we say " nothing ", but when I say nothing, I literally mean NOTHING.
I, Pa, was sleeping on a couch at a family members home, ticking off the days until graduation and becoming a legal adult, to be tossed out into the world and spit out like the rest. Ma was in a similar situation - mom had remarried, had two kids from the new marriage and she was put on the back burner. Forgotten about. The maid of the house, the kid that reminder her mother of her first failed marriage. And was treated as such a the living embodiment of that .
When we got together we had, I kid you not maybe $7 to our names between the two of us. Two people from extremely broken homes, societies unwanted. The kids people had forgotten about, the ones that were not supposed to exist.
When we became pregnant, we both made a vow to not let that sh*tty existence of a life continue with the next generation. We made a vow to make sure our children knew they were loved and cared for. Wanted. To be wanted. That is a super important emotion for a child to know. We didn't have that as a kid, and didn't experience it until we were adults ourselves and had gotten together.
I went to work to make sure the bills / rent / food / other essentials were taken care of while she took care of the house. An old school type family. Some people shun that dynamic in today's world, but it WORKS. Atleast it worked for us. She could concentrate on turning our house into a home, and I was useful in that I brought in the bread. Wasn't a millionaire, but we never wanted for nothing.
If we couldn't pay cash for something, we just didn't buy it. This made our 20's kinda of miserable compared to alot of other peoples, but I credit this mindset with making our marriage WORK instead of fighting over income, debt, worrisome of how to pay the bills. We made our household work on a very, very low wage.
If something needed repaired ( vehicle; house; health ) we did it ourselves. No reason to put ourselves in debt at such a young age like so many of our peers did. Take out a $500 CC for a $200 pair of Nike shoes like an idiot and ruin their credit. We just never established it. And I'm grateful that we didn't, so we didn't ruin it by being young and irresponsible.
Because of Facebook and social media we had our house raided by the FBI ( story for another day; ask and I might tell it. Those that know the story know how nutso THAT was ) and because of Facebook and social media we were offered the chance at home and land ownership. It's a love hate relationship with Facebook and social media.
Wouldn't have ever started our lawn care business if it wasn't for social media and Facebook. Would have never traveled to places like Louisville Kentucky if it wasn't for Facebook, social media and our lawn care business.
I used to hitch hike all over the place or ride a bicycle. I thought I wasn't worth help, and felt bad if I got given it. I had to do things my way, often times the hard way, against the grain in order to learn from my own mistakes. I learned from them, thank God. I still have a hard time accepting help when people give it to me. It's a character flaw. I feel "dirty" and unworthy if someone gives me something I didn't earn from the sweat of my brow. If I act super awkward around you when you do offer me help with something, now you know why. It makes me very uncomfortable.
I'm married to my best friend, and created my other two best friends with my bestest friend ( but don't let them two chittlins see that; they think daddy is a hard as*. Tough love and all ).
Long story short - we were the couple that had everything stacked against us, no support, no help, nothing in life but each other - and we made it. We THRIVED. Most people run from adversity, shirk from it. We run headlong into it. It's what builds us. it's what drives us to do better.
I really have no clue where I was going with this post. It's been all over the place as of right now. If you are still reading, Kudos. I didn't bore you to death with my rambling. Mighty impressed.